


Pathetically in Love with Her

by Asteroidologist



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: And in denial, Cuties, F/F, and she is in denial until nozomi talks to her, in which maki is gay, now a prompt dump, nozomaki rarepair, originally a one-shot, μ's attempt to get her to come out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asteroidologist/pseuds/Asteroidologist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Originally a one shot, now a prompt dump. 1) Maki is gay and in denial. Nozomi helps her come out. 2) Nozomi can't sleep; Maki tells her a bedtime story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But That Doesn't Sound So Bad.

**Author's Note:**

> First LL!SIP fanfiction. I love this anime and Nozomaki has been a ship of mine ever since the training camp episode in season one. No spoilers are in this fanfiction, except maybe for the mentioned names of the members of μ's, but I doubt anyone would be reading this before they've at least finished season one.

"Me? Gay? No!"

Nishikino Maki was having a crisis. At the worst time possible, there had been debates about her sexuality. All of this was unknown to her until the members of μ's decided to ask her. At the WORST time possible.  
She wondered herself why this was the worst time. If she had to pinpoint it, it was maybe because she wasn't so sure on how she felt herself. She'd been questioning it, too. But this encounter was too much for her, and it was terribly unexpected.  
Of course, her reaction really didn't help. She didn't keep her usual, calm self. Instead she was taken aback, and the worried tone in her voice was anything but subtle. She'd even managed to startle herself like that.  
Enter Kousaka Honoka. Leader of μ's, generally cheery and very aloof. Second year. She was described as being the heart and soul of μ's, no matter how many times she'd tried to say everyone was important to the group. Her moderately loud voice brought Maki back from the land beyond Otonokizaka; "Don't worry, Maki-chan! If you are, we'll be here for you!"

  
Maki wasn't having any of this, though. She was adamant about not being gay, and she'd make that known!  
"I'm NOT gay, you guys. So don't think anymore on it." She tried so hard to slip her usual personality in there but it just wouldn't appear magically like she hoped. A few small giggles from the others soon turned into full-blown fits of laughter, followed by a startled and confused Maki standing awkwardly there asking what they found so funny.

  
It was to this that Nozomi replied with a usual teasing quip. "You're so far in the closet you must be lost, Maki!" Was her reply, with Maki's eyes momentarily flickering down at this. Was she really denying it that bad? She couldn't tell if Nozomi was teasing or not, and it distressed her. She sighed, blinked, then sighed again. She was at a loss for words. It wasn't easy trying to convince your eight best friends that you weren't gay, especially when they were dead set on proving it. So what could Maki do in that situation? Admit to it? Was she even gay? She was coming closer to that idea every second that passed. She'd admitted in the past to finding girls pretty and by now she was sure that she'd done it a lot more than the others had, but she just thought it was a thing people did, and not that it had any other connotations to it.

  
She slumped down the wall. "I'm not gay." Was her answer, yet again, but this time she was sure it was a blatant lie. "I'm not gay. I just like girls." And this time she contradicted herself. She was sort of annoyed with herself for doing so, but also because she couldn't say she WAS gay herself, even though she was becoming more aware of the fact that she might be.

  
Honoka just smiled. "It doesn't matter to us, Maki! You're still our friend either way and we'll always take care of you!"

  
Maki smiled veeery slightly, and a hand was held out to her. Nozomi's. She accepted it, letting the third-year idol help her up. "Take your time, Maki-chan." She told her, before turning to the rest of them. "And don't any of you pressure her, okay? It isn't fair for her, let her figure these things out for herself!"

  
That slight smile became a full-blown, Nishikino Maki trademarked grin in a few seconds.

***

Maki sat by the piano. It was quiet in the music room, and everyone else was busy planning stuff for a new live. She told them she would compose her own lyrics and music for this song, because she wanted to make something special of her own doing. But that wasn't all. She wanted to compose a solo, too. For herself to sing. She sighed, looking at the paper, and whispering "Pathetically in love with her.", which she also wrote while she did so. "Pathetically in love with her, but that doesn't sound so bad." They weren't idol lyrics by any means but they were her lyrics and she would make sure they meant something. If they didn't, she'd be damned.

When she had thought all the other girls were planning a live, she wasn't wrong. But she wasn't correct, either. Nozomi knew something was wrong with the redhead and she wanted to find out what, or at least comfort the girl. She had got to the door of the music room just as Maki started playing the piano. Just as she started singing. And Nozomi wasn't going to interrupt her so she waited, and listened. From what she could make out, this was definitely a love song. The lyrics described someone that seemed to be a perfect person, and it definitely made Nozomi want to ask about it. She slowly opened the door, not wanting to interrupt, and she sat next to Maki, who stopped when she noticed her.

"Keep playing, Maki-chan! It's nice." She requested, looking to the first-year.

"But I'm done. That's all I have." Was the reply, Maki looking back at Nozomi with a sigh. "What do you need? I'm busy."

"I know, Maki, we all are. I just came to see if you were okay. Have the girls pressured you too much?" Nozomi sounded worried, which didn't really surprise Maki. She was always being the maternal figure of the group, after all.

"No, no, I'm fine. Thank you for worrying about me, Nozomi." Maki replied, quickly hushing off the subject and trying to subtly hide the paper she was writing on. Subtle wasn't her strong point today, though, and Nozomi quickly grabbed it, scouring the lyrics.

"This is cute. Is this what we're going to sing?" The older girl inquired, to which Maki shook her head.

"Not this. This is something else." She took a deep breath then sighed. "But it's not important."

Silence slowly crept up on the two girls, and they had sat there for a good few minutes before Nozomi piped up. "Maki? You said you like girls, right?"

Maki nodded. "I do... But that doesn't mean I don't like boys too!"

"Ooooh, so you're not exclusive! I'm sure lots of people will be happy with that!" Nozomi teased, poking Maki's stomach. This caused the other girl to slightly shrink back from that point with a surprised yelp.

"Nozomi! Don't do that!" It was more of a whine than a request, and she was laughing herself, but she soon looked serious again. "Would it really matter if it was just girls, Nozomi? Because that's all there is to it. I like girls, not boys. There is just something different about being around a girl than to a boy, and I feel better with it. I don't know if this is just a phase or a full-blown thing but I know I'll always like girls." She sighed, leaning into Nozomi. "Help me tell everyone else, Nozomi..."

Nozomi shook her head. "You need to do this by yourself, Maki."

Maki looked at her. "Did the cards say that? Nozomi, just ig-" She was interrupted by Nozomi shushing her.

"The cards had nothing to do with this. I believe that you'll do well, but you need to do it yourself, okay?"

Maki nodded, sighed, and gathered her stuff. She'd feel a lot better getting it out of the way as soon as she could.  
***

They were all on the roof, surrounding Maki for the second time that day. And boy was she nervous. She'd only just managed to tell Nozomi. Her own tsundere nature was gone and she could barely stand. Her legs were shaky and she didn't know what to say. For the longest time she was quiet until Nozomi pushed her forward slightly. "Go on, Maki-chan! Tell them!"

Maki looked back at her, helplessly, while hearing Nico ask Nozomi something very much like "Tell us what?", and a few of the others agreeing. This was going to be a long and terrible day for Maki. She'd just no sooner come to the reality that she was, in fact, a homosexual, and now she felt forced into telling everyone. She was the one who had arranged them, though! But why the roof? She'd have had a much better time in the club room, at least she could sit down! She sighed and shook her head.

"I'm gay."

It was a whisper, and she could hear Kotori ask her to repeat it. Which she did. Louder, this time.

"I'm gay. Get over it."

Her tsundere nature was slowly creeping back up, but it was soon torn down again when Honoka asked how she knew. How was she going to explain this? She looked to Nozomi for help, but the older girl still shook her head and stayed still in her place. Maki sighed, then pulled her over.

"Nozomi."  
"I'm not help-"

"Tojo Nozomi. I am pathetically in love with you."

 


	2. Bedtime Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nozomi can't sleep and asks Maki to tell her a bedtime story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I've decided that since I was going to fill out a few prompts with these characters in mind, I'll make it some sort of series! No chapters are related unless stated, or unless that's what you want to think, I guess!  
> Also, I feel this chapter is more consistent in detail than the previous, maybe, and I have a bad habit of editing previous chapters and adding in more detail, so I'll eventually edit it again, and I'll make a note to say when I've done so!

 

"Maki?" Nozomi gently nudges the younger girl, who seems to be sound asleep and dreaming peacefully. "Maki, are you awake?"

Maki doesn't stir for a while. Nozomi tries to take that to mean that she is asleep, but she knows very well Maki really isn't that heavy of a sleeper and is probably trying to ignore her. A good few minutes have passed before the composer says anything, and Nozomi is laying on the bed next to her, staring at the ceiling. "Don't be so selfish, Nozomi... I'm trying to sleep here!"

Nozomi laughs a little, Maki's small, sudden outburst surprising her but also making her feel happy. This was the Maki she knew and fell in love with, the Maki she hadn't seen as much lately. "I wonder, could you be worse than Honoka?" She teases Maki like this often, but the girl's slightly frustrated reaction is always the same – she'll exclaim something, this time a "No, I could not!" and then follow it up with a frustrated sigh and "What do you want this time?". It's something that Nozomi likes about Maki, the flustered reactions or the frustration or even just  _ getting past the tortoise shell exterior that she has created. _ It always makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside, seeing Maki in such a state. But, even though she seemed to know everything when she needed to know it, Nozomi could never answer the question "Why Maki?", one which she often asked herself when she was alone.

But Nozomi doesn't forget the redhead's question – "What do you want this time?" - and the circumstances surrounding her request would require a good reason – a reason she doesn't have. She asks Maki, nonetheless.

"A bedtime story? Nozomi, don't you think you're a little too old for that?" Maki has sat up now, and turned the lamp on. The light is harsh and hurts both of their eyes but they don't make an effort to turn it off, or shield themselves. They just look at eachother. Maki looks like she just crawled out of the lion's den and Nozomi ponders if she was having trouble sleeping too. She is usually under a lot of pressure from the other girls to compose, and it really does take it's toll on her sometimes. Nozomi shakes her head.

"Nobody is ever too old for anything, Maki." she replies, a blank expression on her face. Or, it looked blank. Maki couldn't tell at first, but when her eyes adjusted to the light, Nozomi had turned it into a smile. She wasn't even entirely sure it was a purely happy smile, though. There was a sense of longing, of need. A sense of wistfulness, when Maki realized they were similar in their want and needs for human attention. Nozomi's parents were business people, Maki's worked in and owned a hospital, and both girls never had enough time for family due to this. In Nozomi's case, she had even less for friends, caring for herself, and she used to live on her own until Maki moved in with her. Maki just never got close to anyone as much as she had the girls she'd became friends with this year. The redhead just sighs and pulls the older girl closer.

"Fine, fine, you win. Let me think of a story." She tells her, sitting in a position where she could cuddle Nozomi and not place her body in an awkward position, as she had been doing as of late. It really hurt her, sometimes, and Nozomi was pretty sure that the bruise that was on Maki's torso was from a time a few weeks ago – she'd hugged Maki, but forgot to let the other girl move her arms, and so her elbow had dug into her torso, which at first left a red patch that Nozomi was sure would fade, until she found out that Maki bruised very very easily, which is actually a different tale altogether. 

Maki glances at the older girl and smiles, a genuinely warm smile. "There was a beautiful princess, long ago, who lived in a wonderfully prosperous town full of happy people! Everybody loved the princess, and she loved everybody. But the princess herself wasn't as happy as everybody else, for she had no name, and would like to have a name that everybody would love to hear. So she held a contest, whoever could pick out the best name for her would gain her hand in marriage. Lots of people, young and old entered the contest, but she didn't feel like the names given had the charm she was looking for. That's when brave warrior Nishikino Maki entered the fray!" Maki is interrupted by Nozomi laughing at her, and she looks at her. "What's wrong?" She asks, but Nozomi takes a while to calm down.

"You can't just-- Maki, you can't just self-insert!" She replies, still laughing as she looks at the first year.

Maki sighs. "Sure I can! I just did, didn't I?"  
There isn't a response from the purple-haired girl, which Maki knows means she's won, and she grins. She's had heated debates with Nozomi about pointless things before, and sometimes they would carry on for absolutely ridiculous periods of time.

"Now, let me continue. Brave warrior Nishikino Maki approached the princess, and she bowed, paying her respects. This princess, this absolutely beautiful princess, with a heavenly voice and amazingly tender attitude deserved all the respect from the knight, who was glad to give it to her. Maki had heard of the contest, and came herself to see what all the uproar about it was. She would admit herself, she was quite dazzled at the appearance of the princess. That was when it dawned on her. She should enter!" Maki paused for a while. How would she end the story, she wondered. She knew what to say, but here she didn't know how to go about it. So she looked at Nozomi. "I'm sorry, give me a minute to think." 

Nozomi allowed her that, she would have allowed her more, too, had she asked, but a minute was soon up and Nozomi poked Maki, teasingly announcing that her minute was up and she wanted to hear the ending. Maki groaned, jabbing Nozomi, who squealed slightly.

"Maki looked at the princess, bowed, then stated 'I would like to enter the contest! I'm not doing it because I want to marry you, or anything, though, so don't get the wrong idea! The princess just needs a name, I believe! My entry is Toujo Nozomi!'"

Nozomi looked at Maki, blinking for a while before it dawned on her – Maki had essentially used this as an excuse to flirt with her, yet also be subtle about it. Clever it was, complicated it could have been. Nozomi yet again smiled, but this time it was joyful, not full of wist or loneliness. Before Maki could even finish the story, the older girl pecked her on the lips. "I love you, brave warrior Maki."

"I love you too, Princess Nozomi."

  
  
  


 


End file.
